One week ago I announced that I said, “yes.”
To everyone who told me congratulations on the engagement, thank you for playing along with me, and secretly, I loved having the chance to explain myself. In reality, what I said yes to was much, much different than a wedding proposal, it was a question from Jesus about my heart.
Do you trust me? He asked.
My initial thoughts were this: Of course I trust you, Jesus! You have always been faithful. You are so good to me over and over again. As a Christian I make the claim that I live my life to follow Jesus wherever He calls me. Ever since I had that beautiful “vision” of chasing after Jesus on the beach, I picture it that way in my mind: running after Him into the sunset. But what happens when Jesus is calling you to go somewhere that doesn’t make sense? completely destroys the plans you made for yourself? or even looks unsafe?
This is why saying yes to that question took time for me.
I had been praying about the Word Race for close to two years. Since I first heard about it, it just stuck to my heart. But I secretly hoped God would change His mind and not ask me to actually do it. I waited and waited for the desire to go away, but it only grew stronger. A believer once gave me this advice: “Wait to act on something until you know that not acting on it is disobedience to the Lord.”
By October of senior year I was sure that if I choose not to apply for the World Race, I would be choosing to disobey what I knew God was telling my heart: Trust me.
I’m a pretty bold person. I recently traveled to the Dominican Republic alone. I’m not one to be fearful. But when it came down to this decision to do the World Race, I felt paralyzed in fear. But still, my spirit tells me that fear is not of God. I knew I had to look my fears in the face. So I sat down one day and gave my fears a name. Three main things came to the surface.
Fear of telling people. Fear of future unknowns. And lastly, fear of fundraising
After I named my fears, they became more manageable. I started praying over those three things intentionally and the root of those fears began to show. God, let me desire to please You, not other people. Jesus, let my sense of security be in You not the world. Father, teach my heart to stop doubting Your provision; You are a God who gives immeasurably more.
And you know what happened? I stopped being afraid.
Fear is a liar that tricks us into living a boring life. And the Truth says this, “there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18).
The God of the universe is so lovely. He not only asked me to trust Him, but He helped get to a place where I was capable of trusting Him. He is perfect love and He cast out my fear. I can’t say that I don’t get nervous about what lies ahead, but at the heart of it I have an unshakeable sense of peace. I have been sent out with the task of fundraising about $16,000 for this trip. That’s a big number. But you know what?
I follow a big God.
Thank you so much visiting my blog! I am humbled that you read this far! The encouragement and excitement from YOU ALL—my family, my friends, and the friends out there I haven’t even met—has been my favorite part of this whole thing.
If you are feel compelled to help me on this journey, good news! I’m officially set up with a donation account. You can give online (check out that left sidebar), but you can also give by sending in a check to Adventures in Missions (recommended! no processing fee). Just put “Katy Steele” in the memo line and send ’em to: PO Box 742570, Atlanta GA 30374.
To follow along this journey with me, click “subscribe” on the upper left sidebar of this blog! I’m praying you choose to beat fear in your own life! And thanks for helping me to beat fear in mine!
“I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me” (Psalm 23:4).
